You spend all your time making to-do lists, manage everyone around you, everything works according to your rules and a strict planner? You are probably a control freak!
The fear or failure motivates this thirst of power and total control. The fear and the sense of insecurity are your biggest enemies. You are always looking for perfection, so hard to achieve. This fear controls your life and make it really difficult.
You have to let it go.
Open yourself to others. Trust people around you. And give you some free times.
Trust your inner-self. Because you deserve it.