It’s easy to stress out about how imperfect we are as mothers and forget that we are already great mamas for our kids!
We get stuck comparing ourselves to other moms, thinking we need to do everything like them (or they need to do everything like us) in order to be a good mom and raise our children “right”.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve literally written the book on parenting (or at least read every book on the subject), you will still have cranky and dare I say it, naughty, kids from time to time. Your child misbehaving or throwing tantrums doesn’t kick you out of the “good moms club”. If anything, it’s a requirement for membership, as it shows that you are, in fact, parenting a human child.
No matter how hard we try, how intricately we plan, or how desperately we attempt to just ‘go with the flow’ we all have bad days. It comes with the territory of being human, so of course, it’s a part of motherhood too. We may not let other moms see it (though I think we shouldn’t be afraid to) but we all have those days!
FEELING SICK OF IT (SOMETIMES)
We all have days (or weeks) when we’re tired of this whole mommy thing. Sure, we wouldn’t trade it for the world…but the reality is, motherhood is exhausting. If you are a Stay at home mama, it’s tiring. If you are a mama who works out of the home it’s tiring. If you are a mama that works at home (shocker) it’s tiring!!! We all have our moments where we just need a break from all the needs of little ones. Needing a break does not make you a bad mom. It’s just evidence that you are constantly putting someone else’s needs above your own and at some point or another that catches up with you.
Every last one of us suffers from mommy guilt. Whether it’s guilt from the way baby entered the world, the cleanliness of the home, or guilt weighing on your mind because you needed a break one day, we all feel guilty. Yes, we have all made parenting mistakes, so I suppose you could say we all have reason to feel guilty, but if we decided to be as gentle and supportive of ourselves as we are with our close friends, some of that guilt would melt away, and we’d be freed up to focus on more important things like playing silly games with our babies and realizing that we’re doing a pretty great job, despite our mistakes!
Along with feeling guilty, most of us also feel inferior to the moms we see around us. Maybe it’s the friend whose house is always spotless, or the mom in the grocery store that’s dressed to the nines with her children calmly walking in a perfect line behind her. We all have other mamas that we compare ourselves to, while worrying that we don’t measure up. I have a secret for you though…even those perfect looking mamas that seem to have everything put-together, suffer from feeling inferior and worrying that they aren’t measuring up to someone else. None of us are immune. We all have our faults, and our strengths. The real trick is finding ways to learn from each other, instead of feeling threatened or inferior because of our differences.
MOMENTS OF TEMPORARY INSANITY
Screaming children, 1000s of dirty diapers, toys all over the floor, preparing multiple meals a day, trying to convince the kids to eat… any/all of these things are enough to cause moments of temporary insanity in even the most calm of mothers! All mamas have those moments; don’t let them make you feel like you aren’t rockin’ this whole “motherhood” thing.
It’s inevitable. If you have children, your home will be messy from time to time (or all the time). Toys all over the floor is not equivalent to “failure as a mother” status. Neither are dirty dishes or unfolded laundry. We’re all just doing our best, and sometimes that best means take-out for dinner so you have time to wash yesterday’s dishes or put away last week’s clean laundry. Do what you gotta do mama!
JUST. NEED. PEACE.
There will always be those moments as we look on the messy home, and the noisy kids and all the other craziness that comes up during the day. All the chaos, the tears, the tantrums, the never-ending questions…sometimes we just need peace. A stolen moment of quiet. An early bedtime, a trip to the potty in solace. These are things we all crave (and miss), especially in the midst of a drama-filled day with the kiddos.
We Need Support
We all have our good days and our bad ones, we all feel like we could be doing a better job, and maybe we just aren’t ‘good enough’ for this motherhood thing… and we all need support. When you see a mama struggling, smile at her and tell her she’s doing well. Because she needs it. When you see that mama that seems so put together on the outside, remind her that’s she’s doing a great job, because you never know when she might be falling apart on the inside. Offer support, give smiles, and most of all refrain from silently (or loudly) judging. Because we’re all in the same boat.
AND WE LOVE OUR KIDS UNCONDITIONALLY
Through all the bad days, and the crazy nights. Even with their naughtiness and all our worries, nothing can quench the love that we have for our kiddos. There is nothing in the world like being a mama, and even though we might want some time off now and again, the love good mamas have for their kiddos can’t be explained with words.
Despite our differences there are still many things all good moms have in common. So don’t let those bad days, insecurities or tantrum throwing babies make you believe, even for a minute that you are anything less than an extraordinary mama.
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